The Damndest Thing

by Melinda

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Pictures makes me feel as if the nature of my alcoholism and insanity have occasionally been captured. I don't know if anyone who sees this will approve, or if they'll find it even worse than dead baby pictures.
Fascinating? Horrifying? Boring as fuck? Not that fucking is boring.
Hey... you came here. If it's just a fucking table, it's just a fucking table. If it's my mental ejaculate and it pisses you off, piss off.

Why the HELL would you want to know more?
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(viewed 1359 times)
Your truck.... it's so... BIG....!

13th May 2004, 20:52   comments (4)


(viewed 1313 times)
This cute little bugger just walked right through our back door... scampered
right in!
I folded him in a sweater but he was having none of that and climbed all
over me... we eventually bribed him with a huge lump of all-natural peanut
butter and a plate of cereal.

Cute little fucker though.
13th May 2004, 20:08   comments (6)


(viewed 1278 times)
I am a HUNGRY tree.... munch munch munch...
12th May 2004, 21:40   comments (7)


(viewed 1291 times)
Well, gosh golly gee and fuck me! I just lost a bet.

At least one of my fish survived the winter. I've been really watching for them and there's been no sign, then all of a sudden this little bitch is cruising around like he's king of the pond. I guess he is!
I really figured they hadn't made it.
I could only be more surprised if an eel swam up my bum.
12th May 2004, 19:37   comments (8)


(viewed 1386 times)
I'm all for saving cute, furry little animals from horrible deaths... but who the fuck wears a RACOON SKIN COAT?

Someone point me in the direction of the furriers who are raising racoons for the skin trade. Frankly, we've got an overabundance. I'll gladly sell the lot of'em off for coats if it'll get them the hell out of my garbage.

10th May 2004, 17:57   comments (7)


(viewed 1444 times)
If anyone needs me i'll be where i was much of the weekend... here at work,
under my desk, hiding from my migraine.
10th May 2004, 17:47   comments (9)

And Now...

I have to get ready for the party.

The idea was that anyone with blonde hair was supposed to come dressed like Barbie. Boys would go dressed like Ken. Step one, obviously, was the hair.

Step two was the dress. Streetwalker Barbie? No.

Hmmm. How about this dress?

Hey, you know you could HELP ME with this...

The perfect accessory to any dress... COMBAT BOOTS.

*the party happened... too much fun, forgot to take pictures*

I went to a gay, horror-fanantic's birthday, and all I got was this lousy
Spider-Man balloon... hey wait... I got a SPIDER-MAN BALLOON!!!

7th May 2004, 19:23   comments (8)

Coffin Cake


This is what you get for not being able to decide between a Barbie Cake and
a Coffin Cake, David.

1. Hi Barbie. Aren't you lovely. Remind me of me somehow... that has to
change. I hate you Barbie, you cunt. Let's have some fun.

2. This is what I'm going to do to you, Barbie. You and your whore-clones
are all gonna die and bleed candy.


4. Look! It's Vicitmization Barbie!

5. This one wouldn't stop screaming. So I made'er. Fixed 'er good with
Ken's wrench.

6. Happy Birthday!!! (someone saw Kill Bill recently... heh...)

7. The whole scene... what a bloody-nice sight! All those dead Barbies
and limbs... makes me hungry!

8. And with the lid on...

9. But not completely on... hehe. One Barbie futily struggles for

10. At the party... David lifts the lid... and screams like a little
Which is what he is. A big, gay SISSY MAN!!!!

(he loved it)
7th May 2004, 19:08   comments (26)