The Damndest Thing

by Melinda

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Pictures makes me feel as if the nature of my alcoholism and insanity have occasionally been captured. I don't know if anyone who sees this will approve, or if they'll find it even worse than dead baby pictures.
Fascinating? Horrifying? Boring as fuck? Not that fucking is boring.
Hey... you came here. If it's just a fucking table, it's just a fucking table. If it's my mental ejaculate and it pisses you off, piss off.

Why the HELL would you want to know more?
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Coffin Cake

Meanwhile, in an obscure Toronto bar...


"Mel, could you make a custom birthday cake for, say, 20 - 30 people?"

"Sure! What kind of cake?"

"Chocolate. We were thinking about a big coffin with a twinkie in it? Or a
Barbie cake..."

"I could do either... for the coffin, I could make the lid and sides out of
chocolate if you like, it would look pretty neat. I have some edible silver
paint for hinges too... hmmm..."

"That sounds great!"

"I could hit a dollar store and pick up some barbies, and put a couple of
bloody, severed barbie heads in there too..."

"That's awesome! Yeah!"

"Okay. Done. When do you need it for?"

"Tomorrow night... 8sih."

"WHAAAAAH!?!?! That's, like, less than 24 hours!!!"

"Oh. Uh.. geez. Please? Is there any way you could do it..? I'll love
you forever..."

Ah crap. They always get me with that 'love you forever' line.
Stupid x-chromosomes.

(okay, the truth is he promised me free martinis)



Guess who was up until 2 am baking?
Tune in tomorrow for pictures of assembly and the final thrilling outcome!

Who knows what evil lurks in the cakes of gay horror-fanantic men?

6th May 2004, 15:13   comments (15)

Lucky!

My neighbor's dog and my boi were waiting for me on the steps at lunch.
She fetched the ball, gave it to me... then looked so perturbed when I
tossed it.
5th May 2004, 20:22   comments (3)

[....]

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They have the most interesting beer caps at this establishment...
5th May 2004, 17:16   comments (2)

[....]

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5th May 2004, 17:16   comments (4)

Poor phone

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Someone REALLY didn't want to hear from their mother today.
4th May 2004, 20:55   comments (0)

[....]

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May the fourth be with you.
4th May 2004, 20:50   comments (2)

weekend

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Aliens, or two-month old potatoes?
You decide.

I'll be sleeping on my deck.

3rd May 2004, 15:40   comments (6)

new life

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My lily survived the winter.

Excellent.
Now where are the fuggin fish??
30th Apr 2004, 19:56   comments (7)