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ploughing the arable farmland
of the sub-ether

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the graf of grief

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not your average graffiti art...

fun with velociraptors #2164

benjy seems to be settling in well...
3rd Feb 2008, 13:20   | tags:comments (11)

frustrating velociraptor

recently I've been thinking about starting a completely new career, ideally in a subject that I have absolutely no prior experience. inspiration struck when I was in boots the chemist the other day where I saw an own-brand 'dig for a velociraptor' kit (for the budding young paleontologist!) going for the humble sum of 99p. a surefire way to kickstart a new career for the new year.

I purchased the item and opened it up at home. the kit consisted of a hardened cuboid block in which contained (the instruction leaflet described) 'twelve hidden parts to make up your velociraptor.' the only other item in the box was a small plastic knife with a serrated edge with which the budding young paleontologist should use to chip away at the block and find the hidden dinosaur remains.

after carefully slicing and chipping at the block for approximately twenty-five seconds I realized that I was not only bored but also that I felt angry and agitated. it would take me HOURS to get through this thing! so instead I set about destroying the block with whichever household crunchy-scrapy-smashy-chissely things I could lay my hands on. it still took hours.

as a result of my less than subtle handiwork I'd managed to accidentally chop some little bits off the plastic 'bones' of the dinosaur so that they wouldn't fit together so well. also my clothes were covered with dust and debris (is this stuff toxic? where's the instruction booklet??) and my hands were calloused to the point where they had a similar texture to those of a scaffolder.

this experience has taught me three things:

1 excavating velociraptors is a frustrating business
2 paleontology will never be my field of expertise
3 boots 'age 7 and upwards' kits should not be sold to adults

* the assembled velociraptor, however, I've grown quite attached to...
25th Jan 2008, 10:44   | tags:comments (8)


(viewed 1130 times)
21st Jan 2008, 10:19   | tags:comments (5)

post millennium tension

(viewed 1066 times)
emr and mjz apprehensively face the year ahead...
18th Jan 2008, 10:00   | tags:,,comments (3)

high time for a shock on the thrill wheel

16th Jan 2008, 00:04   | tags:,,,comments (15)

"she will want you more than you could ever bear to know"

11th Jan 2008, 16:49   | tags:,,,,,comments (7)

dear emr

(viewed 1369 times)
Dear emr

Thank you for your email.

As you are aware, a lot of work will be done over the next few months/year to enable the use of trams in Edinburgh. The noise from this has to be expected, and the workmen are doing this job in reasonable working hours.

We can pass on your thoughts and feelings to the appropriate area's. [well thank's for that - emr]


Dear emr

Thank you for contacting Trams for Edinburgh. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused during our works in your area. The points raised in your email have been passed to our construction team.

Thank you, and, once again, many apologies for the inconvenience. [doesn't anyone know how to punctuate? - emr]


well hey, I got replies but the problem still persists - woke up to drilling at 8am again today and I still think that's too early.

* the picture here is of elm row roundabout. the historic clock has been removed to make way for a 'traffic light controlled t-junction'
11th Jan 2008, 16:12   | tags:,comments (2)