my life in words and pictures

by chocolate

user profile | dashboard | chocolate maps

this is me, trying to put down my thoughts about everything and anything in the most sincere way possible, trying to find order in the chaos that is my life, trying to throw some mediocre-to-good pictures in along the way and trying to do it all in such a charming way that maybe someone actually finds pleasure in reading it all.




Recent visitors

Friends

More...

rss rss feed

just ...

(viewed 619 times)

but i'm still here
i've had quite a week
more than a week actually
really didn't see that coming ...

i'm still here
and things look alright now

i'm smiling now
and i'm lost for words

... which is why there'll be more of me soon!
but now it's bedtime. see you soon :)

28th Feb 2008, 23:19   comments (4)

i just don't know

(viewed 553 times)
i've been ...

crying
despairing
escaping
drowning
not understanding
crawling up the walls
and going absolutely crazy

i've been ...

lost
28th Feb 2008, 23:12   comments (4)

drip drop teardrops ...

(viewed 570 times)
save me please someone save me
was all i thought ...
28th Feb 2008, 23:07   comments (4)

hope and adrenalin

(viewed 659 times)
just a few more months ...
i'm counting the days ...
12th Feb 2008, 23:20   comments (8)

fire sky

in these winter months, when my usual routes through the woods and over the golf course are wet and muddy, i run on top of this hill which oversees the e n t i r e lake of constance and the mountains around it, austria and switzerland.

and, obviously, magnificent sunsets *** :)

the other day, i was up there, and i swear as the view came over the ridge i slowed down and stood there mesmerized - looking over the lake at one of the most beautiful sunsets i've ever seen! the sky over the mountain peaks across the water was bathed in a blood deep red and as the sun was setting it looked like the horizon was on fire.

there were these people, two or three, standing up there as well. one was walking his dog and taking pictures with his camera phone, mumbling 'amazing' as he passed me. another was taking picture after picture with this huge camera on a tripod. i was thinking about running home and getting the camera myself, but it was too late, the sun was setting so quickly.

next day's local newspaper showed a picture of the sunset taken from, well, right where the man with the tripod was standing :) the caption und the large picture read something like:

'... as if the sky was on fire over the lake of constance ...'




this was a few days later.


12th Feb 2008, 22:57   comments (8)

old skool

(viewed 544 times)
had one of those w o n d e r f u l weekends that just turn out to be so enjoyable, when friday saturday and sunday accord harmonically and by sunday night you feel so good it sticks in your head till next weekend :)

you know, one of those weekends where friday night explodes with music, people and drinks, laughs and lights, saturday floats into perception as you slowly stagger out of bed at noon and the sun shines in all its beauty, saturday night gently wraps you tight and makes you feel warm and mellow, and sunday softly presents itself to you with the first rays through your window in the morning and breakfast tastes like the best breakfast you've ever had.




then comes monday morning.
12th Feb 2008, 22:26   comments (3)

less is more

(viewed 630 times)
that's what OJ said.
nothing to say to this anyway.
smile :)
10th Feb 2008, 15:47   comments (5)

wishing for wings

(viewed 519 times)
good advice ... ?

don't get hassled by stuff you don't need
too much money ... drugs ... clothes ...
whatever, all of it
will make you feel shit
if you have too much of the same thing
... just balance it out a bit
go for walks
read the news
listen to music
get some good loyal friends
let yourself be amused by little things
and remember ...
try and smile
and make other people smile

try and be happy

i could really really use some good advice right now. i'm lost. i know a few weeks ago i said things are moving forward. well, they are, or were, but the problem is, i'm stuck here, i can't go anywhere until june, and when i say things are moving forward, then that's me finding out what i want to do in the future, as far as anyone can figure that out, but the problem really is, i can't DO anything until the summer.

so ... what do i do? i'm stuck, and being stuck wouldn't that big of a problem. but i'm lost. because on top of being stuck, i hate what i'm doing right now. it's this whole german law thing ... i don' want to get into it. but to explain it sufficiently, i HAVE to continue what i'm doing now for another 4 and a half months. after that, i'll be off pursuing my dreams (hopefully), but until then ... fuck!

so this is why i'm kind of in a lasting state of despair at the moment, and this is why i am totally crazy about some good advice on how to enjoy life, even when it's stagnant and bleak much of the time.

oh no i have to go now. well ...

any suggestions?
1st Feb 2008, 12:14   comments (5)