my life in words and pictures

by chocolate

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this is me, trying to put down my thoughts about everything and anything in the most sincere way possible, trying to find order in the chaos that is my life, trying to throw some mediocre-to-good pictures in along the way and trying to do it all in such a charming way that maybe someone actually finds pleasure in reading it all.




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nyr

(viewed 570 times)
i'm not at all satisfied, but
here are some of my new year's resolutions (so far):

- start writing my book
- read at least five books after until my birthday
- read at least one of wmer's books until my birthday
- keep on running at least 3 times a week
- no more feeling so stressed when there is no real reason
- no more strengthening my self-esteem with the wrong things
- less admiring and more being like the people i admire for
being less like me and more like i want to be

2008 is going to be one of the most monumental and meaningful years of my life so far, so it's going to be absolutely packed, and there are some things i know i'll be doing already(like flying to berlin in july to visit an old asian friend from paris and go see radiohead), but these few little resolutions are the things i don't know if they'll happen.

EDIT:

- figure out that whole happiness thing

(i know that's not mine, sorry, but it's just good)
1st Jan 2008, 22:18   comments (13)

warm and dizzy

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... and today stayed warm and dizzy.

i slept a bit too long to enjoy the lovely weather - it was a cloud-free, wintery-clear sky - but i compensated this by taking a nice and icy walk through snow-covered hills and neighbourhoods.

i took these pictures on the way. i have decided that from now on i want my pictures to fit what i write about, or at least not be weeks old.

when the sun was going down and almost disappeared over the lake i visited someone quite a bit older than me and we had one of those really memorable, comforting and simply great talks, where you forget the time completely because you're so into talking and listening. we were really surprised when i left and we realised we had talked for nearly 3 hours. plus the wonderful thing about it was that we were sitting inside the coziest livingroom, and everything was still covered with christmas ornaments and angels and santas and christmas lights and stuff and we were drinking this indian tee with milk and honey and my livingroom is very open and light so getting into the christmas-spirit is a bit more difficult here, and i felt so snug sitting there talking and drinking and eating cookies, so i got my christmas-feeling this year after all.

sounds kind of soft doesn't it? well, i had to do something soft to equal things out after last night's wildness.
1st Jan 2008, 21:59   comments (5)

yestertoday

(viewed 564 times)
last night
was.......
well,
amazing.

i was actually dreading new year's because ...
well,
i don't actually know. if i think back to each new year's eve of my last ... maybe 4 years, each one is connected to a certain emotional state i was in at that time, which was based on many things, including who i celebrated with and how i felt about the year coming.

so this year was weird because i know i'm going to move in the summer - and it's going to be a big move - and every time i think about it, the whole thing is connected with so many feelings, excitement, joy, impatience, but also dread, in a way, and fear.

but that's a whole other subject. and i don't want to get lost.

so as i was saying last nite was wonderful, but part of that wonderfulness probably derives from the fact that i didn't expect it to be very good. why? that's another story, coming very soon, to a blog near you :)

in true wingmaker style:

i had dinner with c, b and m, then watched the firework as it snowed with b, k, r and her sister. we also stumbled upon j. i then got kind of drunk and found myself in a white limousine, not able to stop laughing because we had simply knocked in the back and told the well-dressed casino-guests that the driver said it's ok. they laughed with us because they weren't stupid. the limo took us in the exact other direction of where we wanted to go, but luckily stopped soon, and on the way back i hurt my foot. but i was still able to walk so we met up with j and c and walked along the lake to r, the two h's, s and all the rest. because i felt shitty towards j and r, was slightly bored and received a message from my favourite girl r, who wanted me to come back to the island and dance, i left and went dancing until my foot stopped hurting. k was also there and on the way i walked into our singing-queen, f, together with m, who i keep on wondering whether he's in love or not.

another hour later i fell into my bed and fell asleep immediately so as not to have to experience the sun coming up again. i hate when that happens, and i don't know why.

i do have to add that the only reason that i fell into my own bed was that the buses were going all night long. but that was ok, i had been bad enough all evening anyway. i thought a lot about fee and luckily not at all about the sad fact that it felt like i lost a friend today.


this morning i felt warm and dizzy.






1st Jan 2008, 19:31   comments (10)

slide

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this pic of me is sort of old, but my camera is still not fixed and i'm running out of new pictures (especially ones to fit the occasion) so this'll have to do for this post. i'll have to lend a camera or something, things simply can't go on like this.


anyway, i'm sorry for my absence over the last few days, thursday, friday and the weekend have been reeeaaallly stressy and busy and i simply could not find enough time to send something decent to chocolate@moblg.net, or keep up any vage and ambiguous relationships i might have with certain people here ...


to those few people (especially one:) who actually read all this cryptic nonsense, constant wailing and never-ending reflections and short stories about my life,

i've got LOTS to write, and i hate when i have LOTS to write about and don't have enough time (which really, luckily doesn't happen very often), and if things go like i planned, and i wake up tomorrow where i'm supposed to, i'll let you in on all the new chocolate-news :)


anyway, i'm wishing all of you who read this a happy new year, a wonderful and memorable night tonight and a good slide*!


... don't do anything i wouldn't ... :)



* like the english simply say: "happy new year", germans say "happy new year and a good slide", whereas "a good slide" is the exact translation of what we say here. sounds really really weird in english, i know, but now you've learnt something interesting. well possibly interesting. actually probably absolutely meaningless :D



see you soon!
31st Dec 2007, 18:34   comments (5)

painted sky

i remember we were walking through town in flip flops and talking casually when both of us suddenly looked up at the sky and said "wow! it looks as if it was painted!" it was really wonderful. sometimes when you look up in the sky and the clouds look really beautiful it gives you this very special feeling. i always feel really alive in a situation like that. anyway, what was also fascinating was how quickly the clouds moved, and with it, how quickly the colours changed. it must have been nothing more than 10 or 15 minutes of this painted sky.



ich hoffe eure weihnachten waren schoen. mein letztes weihnachten war nicht gerade der schoenste abend, und dieses jahr hatte ich keine besonders hohen hoffnungen. meine zwiespaltige stimmung hielt auch relativ lange an, doch ich denke es lag schliesslich an gary, der alles zu einem super abend machte. gary hat einfach eine solch unglaublich beruhigende art ... er hat einfach die perfekte mischung aus "ich lasse mich von den einfachsten dingen faszinieren und amuesieren" und "ich hab schon viel erlebt und denke viel nach und kann auch sehr ernst und tiefgruending werden". irgendwann hat er dann seinen crown royal whisky rausgeholt und uns 2 davon mit cola gemixt, was fuer ein leckerer drink. sabrina und ihr kleiner weisser puppy waren auch da, und insgesamt fand ichs nach 2 stunden schon selbst von mir bloed das ganze nicht zu geniessen. dann war alles wunderschoen. es wurde ganz viel gelacht und die musik lief und das essen war lecker und der hund war suess und die geschenke waren ganz ueberraschend und unerwartet, was ich super fand, und das witzigste war, als gary irgendwo einen sog. "muehlengeist" likoer herausgegraben hat, und er fuer meine schwester, ihn und mich 3 stamperl einschenkte. wir schluckten das zeug runter so wie man eben obstler oder jaegermeister runterschluckt. nur haben obstler und jaegermeister keine 50%vol!

ich waere noch gerne mit riedi feiern gegangen, da es eh schon so lustig zu ging, aber er rief nich mehr an, und als ich ins bett ging, fing ich noch das neue buch an, dass mir florian aus muenchen gegeben hat, und waermstens empfohl. (empfahl? empfiehl? oh mann!) das war dann auf anhieb so fesselnd dass ich noch eine stunde las. dann bin ich gluecklich eingeschlafen.
25th Dec 2007, 14:12   comments (4)

ladies and gentlemen

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i know we've already introduced ourselves, but i just had to put these up.

these pictures remind me of those smokey, classy, italian mafia movies with all the cigar puffing italianos in black suits and this one girl who's the boss' daughter, absolutely beautiful and completely restricted.

who then falls for the poor boy who lives in the streets and will probably have to die in the end ...

25th Dec 2007, 14:03   comments (2)

go!

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i realize i'm a bit late with this jumpy picture but oh well.

i also realize these pictures couldn't possibly be less christmasy, but as far as anyone knows i might as well be in argentina.
25th Dec 2007, 13:56   comments (2)

i wonder ...

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what christmas this year was like in the world south of the equator?
25th Dec 2007, 13:53   comments (0)