by jpmatth

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the things i see around. updated sporadically.

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(viewed 636 times)
several weeks ago i had to take my mom to the hospital in the middle of
the night. in the parking lot hedge, there was a decomposing bottle of
jack daniels (emptied, naturally.).

28th Sep 2004, 02:15   comments (0)

childish candy time.

(viewed 447 times)
contrary to urban legend, my stomach did not explode when the pop rocks
were combined with soda.

much to my chagrin.

28th Sep 2004, 02:11   comments (0)

backstage at a nerd party.

(viewed 502 times)
yesterday was the second and last day of a local anime and gaming
convention. it was pretty well cleared out by the time we got there, and
they didn't even bother charging for admission. most of the rooms were
deserted save for a few stragglers playing board games, some on console
games, and a few people wandering around in - inexplicably - renaissance
fair garb. the lan gaming was the only thing still going strong, with
maybe 20 people all hunched in front of modded PCs. walking through the
lan gaming room was a bit like the last scene in the birds: walk slowly
and don't make any sudden movements; you don't want them noticing you.
at the back of it, we found this. it is a table full of anime-related
prizes that was being given away to... someone, i guess. there was also
a tiny projector back in this darkened room, showing bootleg anime to an
audience of none. there was no one back there, we were kind of crashing
the place, and all around us were the sounds of gamers being
faux-threatening to each other. it was all very menacing.

actual quote, overheard as we made our escape: "oh god, they're coming
up all around me!!! somebody please HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" in the
absence of context, it was terrifying. anyway, as regards the pic: i
have no idea who won these prizes, or whether they were satisfied with
them. i suspect not.

6th Sep 2004, 19:24   comments (0)

single light source.

(viewed 551 times)
basically a note about something i want to teach myself. single light
source, metering on the light so the rest of the subjects are thrown
into shadow. it looks a bit renaissance if the camera is something
greater than a cellphone camera. i could have spent a second to put some
more thought into this, but it's just a sketch so i don't forget where i
was going.

6th Sep 2004, 07:58   comments (2)

it is sleazy movie night!

(viewed 453 times)
i had a total flashback to the halcyon days of 1990 when i saw that the
adventures of ford fairlane dvd has, as an extra, billy idol's video for
"cradle of love." it was, let's say, very influential in this young
man's life. you guys who've seen it know what i'm talking about.

3rd Sep 2004, 08:25   comments (0)

in communist wal~mart, q-tips color YOU!!!

(viewed 555 times)
fuzzy, i know, but it had to be shown. oversized mocha frappucino in
hand, i went in search of q-tips. if one would think this is a simple
item, one would apparently be a blithering idiot. what confronted me was
this entire four-foot section, top of the shelf to bottom, of
multi-colored q-tips. red, purple, yellow, turqoise... what's the point
of all that? at the very least, it's a waste of dye, and the materials
used to make the dye. where's it going to go, besides the landfill, and
who demanded something other than white q-tips? oh, but when i went to
get a pack of razor blades, the simple two-sided kind which grandpas
everywhere have used since the dawn of time and which cost about a buck
fifty... oh no, they don't carry those anymore. now it's only "gillette
sensor eX-tr3me with 16 blades of raw shaving power!!!11!one!!" for like
$10 a pair. wal~mart retardance knows no bounds. i am angered that there
is now no place in this town to buy blades for my razor, and i have to
choose between driving thirty miles or being hairy.

wal~mart after midnight is only for the most steely of souls.

3rd Sep 2004, 07:33   comments (7)

true quality.

(viewed 541 times)
note also the great a-team font, which signifies that this pizza pities
the fool.

3rd Sep 2004, 07:19   comments (0)

happy pranksgiving!

(viewed 758 times)
so a friend of a friend of a friend of a co-worker's daughter happened
to have lindsay lohan's phone number, and like any good urban legend
it's been passed around. it was decided that a fun way to pass the time
when we were supposed to have been working was to see if the number was
legit, and maybe prank her. according to our co-worker, when her
daughter called it whoever answered - lindsay lohan or not - was really
pissed off and chewed her out. well, that sounds like celebrity behavior
to me, and if it's not it's still some snobbery. so anyway this is
bryan, attempting to prank call lindsay lohan. the attempt was met with
not success and not frustration, but bewilderment: whoever answered said
that lindsay wasn't available at the moment, but to call back after 7:00
as she was in a meeting.

god it's been a weird and unproductive day.
23rd Aug 2004, 01:55   comments (5)