Cell-Ocular

by jpmatth

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the things i see around. updated sporadically.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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rust and decay.

miscellanous shots of ferrous cancer. i really need a sharper camera
before attempting shots that require sharper detail. i wish there was a
way to edit the level of jpg compression on this phone, but then the
general carpiness of the phonecam is a little bit of its charm.

21st Jun 2004, 09:49   comments (0)

the year in music, 1979

today we found this book inexplicably laying around someone's cubicle. it's humorous, yo.

* chuck mangione looks exactly like he does when he's animated in king of the hill. you can almost taste the blandness coming off the page.

* glare on the page makes it look like kenny rogers has a crotch made of light. and maybe he does, kids... maybe he does.

* you wanted the best, you got the best! the hottest band in the world, KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSS!!!! (now buy our crappy merchandise...)

* last one's blurry, which is a real shame. it's psycho fascist (and renowned ladykiller) ted "sweaty teddy" nugent, in the prime of his career. nowadays this motor city madman can be found advocating the use
of automatic weapons by children and the sanctity of eating raw meat.
21st Jun 2004, 09:39   comments (0)

just an Otis from the 60's.

(viewed 469 times)
random snap of the elevator interior. i keep getting phonecam pics that
have a weird balance to them, where everything sort of fits but its
really off-kilter and looks like it could disjoint at any minute. back
in pseudo-college art classes i'd sometimes accidentally get a piece
that came out with the same kind of awkward balance. i like it, but it's
a damn mystery how i arrive there because it's never anything i intend.

20th Jun 2004, 01:22   comments (0)

[....]

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the "SAFETY REMINDER!" pic got cropped from the last entry. enjoy.

20th Jun 2004, 01:10   comments (2)

governmental signage.

a little wandering around my office reveals the weirder side of the
state's decorative choices.

* OMFGX0RZ!!! do YOU know if a sex offender lives in your
neighborhood?!?! bah, just more dumb scare tactics. if there's a sex
offender that's going to harm your kids, the overwhelming majority of
times that person is a member of your family.

* there's a strange proliferation of signs warning one to either "STAND
BACK" or "OPEN SLOWLY." at one time there must have been an epidemic of
people getting doors opened rapidly onto their faces. "STAND BACK" makes
me think of some sort of superhero - maybe the tick, for example -
bellowing out "STAND BACK, CITIZEN!!!" in that corny superhero voice
from all the cartoons.

* my favorite sign in the entire building is a small green piece of
paper that has been taped at eye level above a urinal in the men's
bathroom on the fifth floor. it reads:

WARNING - SPLASH ZONE
DANGER WHEN YOU FLUSH
This flush unit sprays when you flush!!!

* "The Mgmt." were obviously heavily influenced by radio and television
conventions as children. "Don't touch that dial! 70 degrees fahrenheit
will be right back!"

* i see the "IN CASE OF ELEVATOR FAILURE" sign every day, but sometimes
i read it and it just seems damn ominous. what exactly does "corrective
action" entail? i have visions of the elevator suddenly filling with gas
until my feeble complaints are silenced.

* they're very concerned about people tripping on the first floor. many
signs about watching your step. oddly, there are none of these signs on
any of the higher floors, where one presumes the danger would be greater.

* this "SAFETY REMINDER!" went up on all the entrances soon after 9/11,
when there was some crank who threatened somebody who didn't even work
in this building anymore. for a time, we even had armed guards in the
front lobby, to whom we had to show our ID in order to go in or out. and
when i say armed i don't mean pepper spray.


20th Jun 2004, 01:08   comments (0)

erroneous.

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lilies from the yard. something weirded out the phonecam's white
balance. it thought it was indoors under tungsten lights, thus the blue.

18th Jun 2004, 22:51   comments (0)

dismalicious.

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more of that filthy parking garage i mentioned yesterday. this workbench
looks like it was taken from a downward spiral-era nine inch nails
video. sometimes i think i should give credit to this place for
transcending from filth to art project using nothing but pure entropy.
other times, the reek of it all chokes me before i can think.


16th Jun 2004, 06:25   comments (2)

into the cold front.

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illinois storms are apocalyptic affairs, all wrath-of-god like, though
they usually don't amount to anything. i think the cam focused on the
window glass, unfortunately. oh well; i'll have to remember that the
next time i'm shooting from inside the car.

16th Jun 2004, 00:17   comments (0)