kel's moblog (we love the city)

by kel

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This is London, not Antartica, so why don't the tubes run all night,
You are my Girlfriend, not Molly Ringwald, so why won't you stay here tonight,
This is sixth form poetry not Keats or Yeats, and now we find the part that we both hate.

We love the city because it lets us down, We love the city NOT the suburbs that surround.
We love all the dirty things, that lead us to think, that maybe true love could be found.
We love the city because its how we live, We love the city cause it never loves us back.
We love it all because sometimes, even though they're hard to find, it contains all the virtues we lack.

(Hefner "We Love The City")

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the girl, the boy, the tape deck

(viewed 1252 times)
A tape can be a useful way to make your life seem more dramatic. You create your own ninety minute narrative, with highs, lows, big set pieces, love scenes, battles, flowing on nicely one from the next to reel the audience in and keep them there right until the last act. You can show him your history, (that song that you loved last year and still love because it reminds you of that time last summer when...�¦) your present and what you want the future to be. You can show your dark side, your happy side, how you feel about your friends, your sense of humour and most importantly, your taste and whether it's compatible with his. A litmus test of feelings and moments. All courtships, those between lovers and friends, should involve mix tapes. Letters are for the 19th century; pop music for the present.

It seems strange but he's now become one of those memories tethered to those songs, a memory you allude to when making tapes for someone else, someone new, someone you can say is yours. You still compose track listings in your head for him, on buses and trains, or when rifling through your music. You realise that this is different; you're choosing songs that you want to be about you now, about you and that someone else. You want to show off what you have to him, give him a glimpse from a distance, wanting his approval and his blessing as if he knew his part in what got you to where you are now. You wonder if that's what he was doing all along with the stuff he taped for you back then, displaying just a little of his life to you at a time, like a bashful peacock. You realise that was half the appeal all along. You realise it doesn't matter so much anymore, that there isn't a big ending, just a mess of friendship that ebbs and grows. You're dancing, and laughing, and finally living.

How annoying is it that life just gets in the way and makes you drift apart from people you had a proper real connection with? How annoying is it when you try to rebuild those connections and it just doesn't bloody well work out? When do you just say - fuck it, we're obviously not friends any more?

I don't mean this as intense as it sounds, honest, just missing some of the people I used to be so close with. :)

lost and found

(viewed 1765 times)
(I wish I had a scanner so these could be a bit clearer!)

Anyway, this is a bit of photographic paper I found while clearing my mum's house, with lots of black and white thumbnails (if that's the right term for something made back in the eighties) of pictures that I'd really like to have full size if anyone knows a way... My favourite is the bottom one of me leaning over my grandpa's shoulder, about to eat my mum's nose. Sadly didn't come across any negatives as yet, but I'm hoping that digital technology might be able to help...

Tate Modern

(viewed 1179 times)
like my friend said, it makes you feel like an ant. in a big pile of sugarcubes!

Hampstead Heath, Sunday

(viewed 1649 times)
You can see for miles! Pity my camera can't.

Goodbye house

(viewed 1103 times)
Been spending the last week packing and clearing my mum's house. A bit sad, but feels like I'm getting things done, which is good.

anyone fancy taking on a much loved old house? go on...
14th Oct 2005, 11:15   comments (6)

22 boxes of books!

(viewed 983 times)
I'm going to need a library wing!

These are a selection of the books from my mum's house that I'll probably never read ('The Beginner's Guide To Electric Wiriing'? 'Cacti and Succlents'? 'The Annual Report of the Labour Party Conference 1979'?), but couldn;t face throwing away or giving to charity (and trust me, there were even more of those).

Under the Beginners Guide there you can just spot Our Bodies Ourselves which is a great 70s right on book about women's health.
14th Oct 2005, 10:49   comments (0)

v.h.o., n.s.g.

(viewed 1741 times)
I felt motion sick on the *tube* this morning. That's shameful.

big exit

(viewed 1973 times)
It's the last week in my job and I'm feeling a bit scared about what happens next...

27th Sep 2005, 15:18   | tags:,,comments (9)