The Damndest Thing

by Melinda

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Pictures makes me feel as if the nature of my alcoholism and insanity have occasionally been captured. I don't know if anyone who sees this will approve, or if they'll find it even worse than dead baby pictures.
Fascinating? Horrifying? Boring as fuck? Not that fucking is boring.
Hey... you came here. If it's just a fucking table, it's just a fucking table. If it's my mental ejaculate and it pisses you off, piss off.

Why the HELL would you want to know more?
My Livejournal...

title or description ONEMODELPLACE.COM



Josie Nutter Dot Com

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What I wanna know is this: why don't they make penis flavored condoms?

You can get fruit flavored condoms... chocolate... bubble gum...
MARSHMALLOW for fuck's sake...

What about a condom for the girl who LIKES the taste of cock?!

She wants to be safe, but she doesn't want a banana-cock or a strawberry cock or apri-cock... she wants COCK! MAN-COCK DAMMIT.

I'm just looking out for the single girls out there.
And for that matter, why aren't there man-cock flavored dildos?

6th Jul 2004, 15:17  


=^.^= says:



6th Jul 2004, 15:18

=^.^= says:

anyway, good point there...

6th Jul 2004, 15:19

Melinda says:

Well, lady-cock, fruity-cock and choco-cock being things I'm NOT after.. MAN-cock.

(Lady-Cock = porn idea... now I need a lead who looks like Matt Broderick)

6th Jul 2004, 15:28

Joe_Archer says:

Fair all you need are some investors :)

6th Jul 2004, 15:30

Phoenix says:

Yes - just need someone to cough up for it ...

6th Jul 2004, 15:36

Melinda says:

Know anyone who would come in on it with me?

6th Jul 2004, 15:38

=^.^= says:

Well, it shoudnt be too hard to find investors in something as cutting edge as "Lady-cock, The Movie"

6th Jul 2004, 15:40

Melinda says:

But what if I blow it?
I could really wind up shafted if I get too cocky.

As for the merchandise, I'm willing to take my fair share of shots, but the Condom Shack is a tough act to swallow.

6th Jul 2004, 15:43

Melinda says:


Follow dammit.


6th Jul 2004, 15:43

Joe_Archer says:

*considers getting plastic surgery to look like Matt Broderick

6th Jul 2004, 15:45

Phoenix says:

Can't see it makes a Vas Deferens what you do

6th Jul 2004, 15:46

kel says:

and while we're on the subject, why are flavoured condoms such horrible colours? Is it so they can be even more successful at doing their job, i.e: put you right off sex in the first place?

6th Jul 2004, 16:13

Joe_Archer says:

Gordons alive!!!????

6th Jul 2004, 16:28

Melinda says:

Sexual innuendo has clearly left THIS string. Along with sanity.

6th Jul 2004, 16:59

Melinda says:

I know what you mean, Kel.
If I wanted something neon-green I'd be buying some batteries to go with it...

Or I'd be trolling alien hangouts.

6th Jul 2004, 17:01

=^.^= says:

No, why ALL condoms have terrible colours, smells and... taste?

6th Jul 2004, 17:03

parkylondon says:

Taste? I've, frankly never even *thought* about tasting one let alone _wanting_ to taste one. I've not had to use one for something like 15 years (being married and all!) but taste? Yuk yuk yukkity yuk.

Listening to: The Best of the Doors. Track 17 - The End.. It's soooo gooooood. So verrrrry gooooooodddd!

6th Jul 2004, 17:11

Rich says:


6th Jul 2004, 19:17

Rich says:

And you'll stay there til you learn your lesson!

6th Jul 2004, 19:24

Phoenix says:

Brings a whole new meaning to the letters CV ....

6th Jul 2004, 19:27

parkylondon says:

Hang on though - you have point. However I *think* women taste different to condoms... ;-p

ehem... cough. splutter.

7th Jul 2004, 08:25

slinka says:

Ah, a healthy food store. This city has such great markets.

7th Jul 2004, 15:56

Alfie says:

May I just say...


7th Jul 2004, 16:03

MontiLee says:

Okay - Broken down in the different catagories of man-flavored condoms, there would be Squeaky Clean, which has the scent and slight flavor of Ivory soap, then there would be Sleep, which has that wonderful scent of just "rolled out of bed". Of course there's Hard Day At Work, which is a little musky but not unappealing, which is far and away different than "Been Eating Pineapple all Day" (I love that one). Finally there has to be Bachelor - which tastes like garlic and beer, with an unwashed scent.

May I be your official tester?

7th Jul 2004, 20:32

Amber says:

I'll take a double order of 'Been Eating Pineapple All Day' with a side of 'Sleep'.

7th Jul 2004, 23:07

=^.^= says:

I just love this place...

8th Jul 2004, 08:38

parkylondon says:


8th Jul 2004, 10:19

Melinda says:


Me too, Gato.
Meeee too.


8th Jul 2004, 14:51


what about the nuts?

8th Jul 2004, 22:02

Melinda says:

What about them?

8th Jul 2004, 22:46

teflon says:

For those of you who want the taste of cock..

22nd Sep 2004, 10:23

Alfie says:

Want to taste what it's like to skateboard all day?

22nd Sep 2004, 10:36

Melinda says:

Thank you Captain Non Sequitur... Whatcha talking about Alf?

And yes.

22nd Sep 2004, 15:28

Alfie says:

ask tabby I guess =)

22nd Sep 2004, 15:58

|thedude| says:

Matthew Broderick?


You need Brian Blessed, Now he's a Man. Good actor too.

8th Jun 2008, 17:04

|thedude| says:


*Swoops round the office*

8th Jun 2008, 17:04

|thedude| says:

Hey dude, i like tasting women, wots wrong with them liking to taste us. I even put it down on my C.V

8th Jun 2008, 17:04

|thedude| says:

sometimes i write things that i should really keep to myself.

*goes to the cupboard and hides in the darkness*

8th Jun 2008, 17:04

|thedude| says:

*Arrives back from cupboard, takes medicine for controling the "Thoughts" and sits at comp*

Lesson learned. Now where are those gnomes....

8th Jun 2008, 17:04

|thedude| says:

I'm game.

8th Jun 2008, 17:05