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by Cenobite

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This is a page I upload only from my camera phone. I am into photography and that can be found on my homepage at http://www.cenobite.co.uk or via my flickr account.


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Dreams...

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Its been a weird week, and one involving lots of thinking.
Late last week, I learned something that really upset me, and in a
kneejerk reaction I said something I didn't mean to someone who is very
important to me. The weekend was spent mostly stewing over it and
worrying, thinking Id spoiled a friendship that is incredibly valuable
to me. Luckily, it was talked through, things cleared up and much to my
relief a friendship very much intact.
It was only after, that I actually gave any thought to how I'd reacted,
in all honesty it has surprised even me. I'm not proud of over reacting,
and its certainly not like me. In the past 3 years, I've been accused of
being somewhat emotionally closed, for whatever reason, not letting
myself care for anyone too much. Doesn't seem the case anymore. So I've
slept uneasily this last week, my mind insisting on analysing my
thoughts to the most intricate details. As usual I worry if I should or
shouldnt call, text etc and if I do so too much..
This has also manifested itself in an odd urge to clean the house very
thoroughly, and even as I type this at work, Im planning in my mind the
next rooms to sort.
I'm still a little confused as to my reaction, it was both unexpected
and a little over the top but I do know one thing, I never intend to
risk it again with any more kneejerk comments. I'll be my normal
considered self in future.
These last few nights Ive had a weird recurring dream when I have
dropped off to sleep, there must be a message in there somewhere. Im
looking at a box, its on its side, with lots of things displayed in it,
novelty items mostly, very weird and strange. One thing though always
draws my attention, its an old bear, ragged looking but cute, slightly
obscured by a red rag, like a long lost toy. Its sat in a little chair,
and I go to take it but resist because I can see if I touch it, it might
fall apart, its head seems to be on a spring and Im reluctant in case it
falls off and so I dont risk it.What it means I dont know.
3rd Aug 2006, 18:37   | tags:,,

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mouseninja says:

*hug*

we'll talk about the dream next time i see u..

xxx

3rd Aug 2006, 22:06

Cenobite says:

Thanks

3rd Aug 2006, 23:06