Like life, only smaller

by Steve

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Would you?

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I was in Cardiff at the beginning of the week and on the last day I had an hour to spare, so I decided to get a fry up and a hair cut. Now both of these were strange experiences, but I think that the haircut wins out, so that is the tale that you will get.

From the outside this place really didn't look like much, it was very run down indeed, but I had my heart set on a hair cut and there was no were else around so in I went. The inside was very much like the outside with lots of odd knik-naks and pictures, Chris was a lovely old Gent with both a welsh and an Italian accent. When I say "old gent" I really am putting the emphasis on "OLD". There was a certificate on the wall from "The Association of Barbers" it stated that Chris had been a member for sixty years. By my maths that had to make him about 75 at the youngest, and that is being rather kind.

Now some of you might have the image of the elderly that you see on tv who live in Florida and are very sporty and sprightly. Chris was almost the exact opposite of them, instead of having tanned skin and white teeth, he had white skin and tanned teeth. He was also short, now I know some of you are thinking "hey Steve, you're not so tall yourself!" which would be fair, but it does allow me to say with all impartiality that Chris was tiny. (he was even shorter than Bronx!)

We agreed upon the style of cut and Chris went to work, we needed no small talk and both of us got on with our jobs in silence. My job was to sit still and move my head to where ever he wanted it, and his was to poke me in the side of the head with scissors, he was remarkably good at his job and I did my best to be good at mine. I must point out that these were only gentle nudges with the scissors and no harm was done.

I heard that Chris had been rather fond of the odd Capstan in his younger days and it had left him with some kind of bronchial problem, when I say heard, I mean quite literally, his every rasping breath was directed straight into my ear canal. For someone that was fighting for breath he had amazingly strong lungs, with each exhale my hair shot into the opposite direction and one eye brow was forced over into the next.

I spent most of the 15 minutes wondering what would happen if he keeled over and died right in the middle of my hair cut. I imagined myself getting on the next train having missed my reservation, trying to explain to the conductor that yes I understood that my ticket shouldn't be valid on this service, but could he please take pity on a bloke with half a hair cut that has just spent the morning with a corpse. Luckily this scenario didn't play out and my haircut was finished, it wasn't quite what I wanted and the sides are very short, but I think that this is as much my fault as his.

When it came to settling up I enquired as to how much this would cost me, and Chris true to form said not a word. He merely lifted a boney finger and pointed at the tariff board, the menu consisted of many differing types of cut ranging from fifteen to twenty pounds. It was was an expensive cut at fifteen pounds but well worth every penny, and I recommend a journey to Chris's if you are ever in Cardiff.

The result

Twiglet says:

May I be the first to say can we see the hair cut please?

13th Oct 2006, 14:31

Steve says:

Eventually yes :)

13th Oct 2006, 14:33

sort of reminds of that scene in nathan barley where he kills the barbers cat.

except he wasn't old. or brochitic. or welsh.

but it was awkward. and in a barbers.

don't listen to me.

13th Oct 2006, 14:35

Steve says:

That scene did keep playing through my head, and I did look out for any kitties

13th Oct 2006, 14:36

i'm glad we're on the same wavelength, and that you didn't mock me...

13th Oct 2006, 14:42

OJ says:

A lovely story Steve. You've made me quite homesick. Though I tended not to frequent this sort of hairdressers as an adult, it does bring to mind Powells in Gorseinon.

If only it were there today, I'd do you a reciprocal picture story. The Elnett hanging in the air between the hood driers, Mrs Powell - always Mrs Powell, who knows if she had a Christian name - fashioning my sister, my brother and I into three identical pageboys.

I don't remember the fixtures and fittings exactly, but I imagine them to be sepia brown under the layers of lacquer.

13th Oct 2006, 14:43

nige says:

haha. nice anecdote, steve.

13th Oct 2006, 16:05

we're all askew!

13th Oct 2006, 16:07

seaneeboy says:

Someone's left a tag open somewhere :)

13th Oct 2006, 16:10

Steve says:

Nope just playing with the text

13th Oct 2006, 16:26

OJ says:

Steve, Dennis The Menace has got hold of your Moblog.

13th Oct 2006, 20:19

Steve says:

Yes it does rather :) just having a little play

13th Oct 2006, 20:21

Gael says:

you could have gone to my little sister's for a cup of tea, Steve ...
EDIT lovely story, but £15?! I thought the punch-line was going to be that it was free

13th Oct 2006, 20:23

Steve says:

That's double what I pay in london! ... I don't have complicated hair

13th Oct 2006, 20:30

Joe says:

length!

13th Oct 2006, 20:31

Steve says:

I'm trying :)

13th Oct 2006, 20:32

Ahh Steve, the story made me laugh-out-loud-but-not, in a have-to-hold-it-in-as-I-have-14-sleeping-patients-to-consider type of way!!

I hope we can see the haircut soon, and that by 'eventually' you don't mean 'when it's grown out'!

I'd like to hear about the fry-up now! I love these kind of experiences. :)

14th Oct 2006, 05:37

oooh. your css has gone all scary an' that...

14th Oct 2006, 10:49

Steve says:

And now it's gone all flock

14th Oct 2006, 11:21

ooo. i like that even more.

14th Oct 2006, 11:27

DocD says:

Old school haircuts are always interesting. These kind of barber shops are dying out

14th Oct 2006, 12:03

Steve says:

Yes dying out is how I would describe him :)

MF- Yes I am pleased with this one, it came to me in a dream and I crafted it this morning from one of my photos

14th Oct 2006, 12:32

monkey_finger NLI says:

a-ha!

the things that come to me in my dreams aren't safe to blog.

14th Oct 2006, 12:41

chris says:

Ah, flock eh? A man after my own heart....

14th Oct 2006, 12:41

Steve says:

Is that one of yours then Chris? We need touch screens that feel furry

14th Oct 2006, 14:00

chris says:

It is - a Collective special

Agree on the furriness - all part of the appeal of flock...

14th Oct 2006, 14:27

FilbertFox says:

wow - your fancy background hurts my eyes! but it is the wee small hours and i have had a busy day and i am tired and suffering from insomnia

15th Oct 2006, 01:18

Steve says:

Sorry for hurting peoples eyes... but I like it X

15th Oct 2006, 11:44

Viv says:

Great tale

and that was my reaction FF

15th Oct 2006, 16:41

Steve says:

Sorry for the visual disturbance :)

15th Oct 2006, 16:46

FilbertFox says:

had sleep and it still hurts!

16th Oct 2006, 07:29

Steve says:

I can't say that you didn't try

16th Oct 2006, 08:35

beth says:

aha

25th Oct 2006, 21:35