my life in words and pictures

by chocolate

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this is me, trying to put down my thoughts about everything and anything in the most sincere way possible, trying to find order in the chaos that is my life, trying to throw some mediocre-to-good pictures in along the way and trying to do it all in such a charming way that maybe someone actually finds pleasure in reading it all.

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friendships and girlfriends

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so this is katinka (and me).

she's my best friend's girlfriend. i really love her. it's quite funny actually, the friendship constellation between me, her and my best friend. it's a bit hard to explain, but ... it's a bit ike in scrubs, where jd is turk's best friend and also carla's best friend. so everytime turk's not there, jd and carla sort of connect and talk about everything ... really intimately, too, which is possible because all three of them know just about everything about each other.

this might all sound a bit comical, but that's the way it is with the three of us.

they've been together for a bit over 2 years now. scary actually, because you start wondering ... with no end in sight ... is that going to be your best friends last girl?

anyway, the evening that these pictures were taken was one of many evenings and nights where HE's a bit too drunk, having lots of fun, doesn't want to leave yet. but she does, because she's somber, being the driver for the night, and wants to go home eventually. when he doesn't want to though, she escapes to me and we take a long walk somewhere on which she confesses to me the same things as always, how she love him but just hates so many little things about him and how they make her really angry every so often ...

i tell her i know exactly what she means, which is true to the heart, and we hug and start walking back. then we hang out together for the rest of the evening, discussing everything remotely discussable and finally leave when my more or less drunk friend decides to give in because of his jealousy and come home.

then they fight on the way to the car and when i'm about to say i'll see them tomorrow and that they shouldn't fight, they insist on me coming home with them for a drink or something ... which would normally be completely out of line and very weird if we wouldn't all be so close ...

next morning everything's ok again ... as always ... and you know it gets me thinking everytime. about relationships ... i mean it's been a while since my last s e r i o u s relationship and i wonder whether i would "do it better", you know ... then again, if you're together for over 2 years ... it's hard to find an answer either way ...

anyway i've had lots of those nights and interestingly they always happen in the same way, and only if he's had some drinks, and she and i are somber. if i'm drunk as well, i just stay out of the whole business altogether.

and before i stop writing about this (stupid) topic, i'll have to admit i get sick of it regularly as well. most of the time because of his infantile behaviour, the rest of the time because of her inconsistent actions and attitude.

well ... i don't know how i would do it, i've never really made it as long as they have, so i don't know what difference that would make, but as a "neutral" outsider i think i would handle it differently ...

it's all quite funny actually ... friendships and girlfriends =)
6th Jul 2007, 14:31  


swamprose says:

first, thanks for writing this in English so I could read it and understand. Translating your German with internet translators just sucks.

tell her you love her.

7th Jul 2007, 06:34

midlife says:


10th Jul 2007, 03:39

chocolate says:

to swamprose: you actually translate my texts with an internet translator? wow, in that case, i'll definitely have to write more in english!

to midlife and wingmaker: your words are so sweet, but, well, actually i'm not in love with her.
i just read through it again and realized why it comes across like that, but i really don't love her like i'm in love with her. she's just my best friend and my best friend's girlfriend at the same time, which is a kind of constellation which is interesting sometimes, because we are three people who know everything about each other and that can lead to strange situations sometimes ...

so yeah, no love involved, not love in THAT sense i mean, but thanks so much anyway you guys for the comments =)

i'll have to write some more about TRUE love soon just to get such lovely comments from you guys =)

10th Jul 2007, 13:30

midlife says:

You can still kiss her. Just do it. Makes for better friends.

11th Jul 2007, 04:58

chocolate says:

haha ok, i'll remember to do that next time i'm drunk. just so i have an excuse in case she DOESN'T like it ...

11th Jul 2007, 18:42

midlife says:

They both will like it. Do it while sober

12th Jul 2007, 04:14