moblog uk

Alphabet Stretch

by Caineabet

user profile | dashboard | imagewall

« older newer »

Changing format for a while. I'll be doing photo assignments from various places.

C is for Camera. And Caine. The idea, every day go shoot the day's letter of the alphabet. When I get to the end, I start all over again.

I'm already wondering how I'm going to carry this off in winter.

My non-alphabetical blog, A trick of the light

Personal Favourites from Alphabet Stretch

Search this moblog

Recent visitors

Vetinari, Havelock

(viewed 5086 times)
Bookmark and Share
My favourite character in the Discworld books by Terry Pratchett. Illustration by Paul Kidby. I shot this from Nanny Ogg's Cookbook.

Caineabet says:

Lord Vetinari's recipe is for Bread and Water:

Bread and Water
(Kindly donated by Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork)

"However efficient a ruler may be, there is always someone, isn't there, who feels that his diet might be improved by some artificial additive, such as arsenic. Many rulers have sought to avoid this. This is one classical method:

Have sufficient dough made to make three loaves of bread. Bake the resulting loaves in an oven. Both these operations should be supervised by at least two reliable employees.

Select one of the three loaves (the other two must be eaten by the baker). Slice it. Select slices at random and have these tested in your presence by members of the Palace staff (or members of your family if you are not fortunate enought to live in a palace). From the remaining slices, select one; place this on a plate selected at random from the kitchens. Have the remaining plates licked by the kitchen staff; pause to observe any negative reactions to this operation, or to the earlier slice-testing.

In the meantime, have a bucket of water drawn from the well. Have this boiled, poured into a flagon and cooled. From this flagon pour four glasses of water. Select three at random and have them drunk by different members of the Palace staff from those who are testing the bread / plates.

You might now believe that you have a glass of water and some slices of bread that are free of poison, in which case you have failed to grasp the situation. There are such things as antidotes, which even a trainee poisoner will have taken as a precautionary measure. And then of course there was the case of Lord Samphire: the bread passed the test, and so did the water. The problem came to light only if you ate the bread and then drank the water.

Here is my preferred method, which has stood me in good stead.

1. Arrange the politics of the country
over a period of years so that
poisoning you will be more trouble
than it is worth and interfere with
the private ambitions of too many
people just at the moment.

2. Make sure that there are among the
city's civil service some
unpredictable men who will consider
your poisoning a personal insult
against them, and generally cause a
lot of fuss.

3. Then eat what you please."

11th Aug 2008, 04:54

Caine says:

:) I re-read Discworld books every once in a while. Nanny Ogg's Cookbook was an impulse buy, initially for Kidby's great illustrations. There are actual recipes in it, along with that famed Discworld wit and humour.

11th Aug 2008, 06:30

Add a comment

(P) what's this?

Track updates to this post with rssthis rss feed