It's easier to take your trousers off than dump your pockets so you can be comfortable when you sit or lay down. Similarly it's easier simply to remove your outside face than untrain the perky dimpleclench the dayjob requires. Just pry that bastard loose and throw it on the corner of the bookshelf by the doorway, and let it all hang out.
Let your work face stand guard over the door while your eyeballs hang down your face on their cabled strings, strummed gently by the radiations from Scrubs Season 4 while your jeans curl up around your wallet and pocketchange, growling in sleep and wheezing athsmatically.
While you're at it, pop the top of your skull off and let the kinked tubes of that cramped old brain uncoil like a slimy garden hose slipping off the hook in the shed. Go ahead. Let it curl up around your ankles like a pet python welcoming you home from shopping for groceries, begging for fresh ratcicles.
Unhook your legs and let them bounce to the floor and roll under the sofa. Unhook your weak arm and let it flop around until it settles. You'll need to keep the other one on just in case you need to hit a button or two on the remote -- or perhaps one or two other buttons closer to home.
You won't have to drag yourself back together until the morning. Now is the best time in the world to fall to pieces. Make the best of it!
Posted by Laszlo Q. V. St-J. Xalieri