Interview52 – Craft:



1. How did you choose your moniker?

CRAFT. It's an acronym which stands for Can't Remember A F*cking Thing. I used to work with this woman called Linda whose mother had Alzheimer's disease and she was terrified of getting it too. Whenever she had any kind of lapse in memory she would say *Whoops I'm having a CRAFT moment* a way I suppose of trying to make light of that which frightened her. Because my memory isn't all it perhaps should be, when I set up my blog I used CRAFT because much as I ended up disliking her, I liked the expression. She was a strange and not particularly likeable person. If I were her I would have been more alarmed by the multiple personalities than the possibility of getting Alzheimer's ....

2. What is your favourite word in the entire lexicon of English language? Please define and explain its significance to you.

This changes from time to time but at the moment it is heteroflexible. The Urban dictionary definition is: *A person who enjoys sex with both male & females but considers themself heterosexual in the sense that they do not relate with the same sex for an emotional relationship like a bi-sexual could. Heteroflexible is a heterosexual person that is beyond the bi-curious stage but would never engage in an emotional relationship with the same sex.*
The reason I like so much is that it makes me think of contortionists.... Ooooh yeah..



3. If you were a flower which would you be and why?

We saw some Calla lilies in a hot house earlier in the year. One was almost black , like a very dark aubergine colour. I'd be one of them.

4. If you could be in any movie, which role would you play?

I'd be the Tin Woodman in the Wizard of OZ. He is the one who asks the Wizard for a heart and the Wizard says *A heart is not judged by how much you love but by how much you are loved by others.* When he says goodbye to Dorothy the Tin Woodman says *Now I know I have a heart because it's breaking..* Awwww..Pass the Kleenex….

5. If you were to write an autobiography, what would you title it?


Shades of Gray of course and if it got made into a film I'd want to be played by David Morrissey, because he’s hot and sexy.

6. Where is the most unusual place you’ve ever made out with another person? With yourself?



I really can't disclose this. It is absolutely too shocking and too unimaginable. I would be getting hate mail for all eternity. With myself??? This is not something I do as a rule in unusual places. I like where possible to keep the right side of the law.

7. If you were going to speak the language of flowers to someone you wanted to get to know better, which posies would you include? And what specifically do they mean?


I think I'd choose sweet peas for blissful pleasure, a sun flower or two for wishes, and some white violets for taking a chance on happiness. Then some coral coloured roses for desire and a few dog roses for pleasure with pain and lastly white roses for secrecy. But the truth is, if I wanted to know someone better I’d buy them a pint and meet him in the boy’s bogs twenty minutes later.



8. If this were your last meal, what would you have? Please include dessert. Who would cook it?


I don't care who cooks it although I do quite like watching the TV chefs working, Ainsley Herriot is great. As long as it consists of a smoked salmon mousse starter, and rainbow trout as the main course, I'd be happy. I know that's a bit fishy but what the Hell, it's my dinner! I'm not sure about dessert because if I have the starter I can't always manage dessert but I do really like frozen yoghurt. Last summer I had a water melon flavoured gelato when we were on holiday. It was a very superior breed of ice cream and ZOMG, it was delicious.

9. Do you sing in the shower? If so, what song is your most frequently sung?


I certainly do sing in the shower, I sing duets with My Young Friend.. We quite often do stuff from West End musicals but this morning we did *Paradise by the dashboard light* which is an old Meatloaf song. Dear neighbours please take note (on the off chance that you have enough taste to be reading this), just once it would be really, really nice if you shouted "Bravo!" instead of "Shut the f*ck up you pair of poufs". If just once you gave us any indication that our efforts were appreciated, we would look for something else to share while we are showering...



10. Who’s your favourite queen and why?

John Barrowman. No hesitation there. He is just so kind to everyone and he seems to enjoy life. TV seems to be full of people being nasty like on those miserable talent shows and to be honest it gets a bit wearing. We've all but stopped watching TV but I'll always watch Barrowman.

This post originally had a photo of me at the top. I replaced it after a while for reasons of privacy. Craft

Posted by Craft