Like the Circles that you Find, in the Windmill of your mind.

by Strange little girl

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R.I.P Krystian 28.03.1983 - 20.04.2010

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"Mirror on the wall.............
here we are again......."

Li'l Wayne;=av2e

dont know if the link is right.
20th Apr 2012, 20:41   | tags:,,,

Twiglet says:

Much too young... x

20th Apr 2012, 21:01

Viv says:

too sad

20th Apr 2012, 22:57

Craft says:

Poor lad : - (

21st Apr 2012, 07:11

Thanks Twiglet, Viv and Craft. its still a very difficult day for me. A day of real contrast. My Eldest (long lost - now found son's) birthday, and Krystians untimely suicide. What always spooks me out is that the time of 'A's birth & krystians death are the same. Phewthis ios tough.......sorry

21st Apr 2012, 07:18

Craft says:

Ah Lou... I wish you didn't have to go through this. Suicide is a very hard bereavement, perhaps the hardest. This won't get better for a long time, not even the slightest. Just be there for one another, don't blame, don't glorify, just stay alive. There's a lot of love in your life, that much is easy to see ♥

*Removes Counsellor hat : - )

21st Apr 2012, 07:41

rhys says:

Sorry to learn about this.

Although through illness, I lost my 19 year old cousin in February this year and am still heart broken. I really feel for you at this time, keep strong.

21st Apr 2012, 07:48

Thanks Craft & Rhys. I am fine. I am strong.

Rhys I am so sorry to hear of your loss 19 is so young. Its hard to share the heart break but if you can it eases it , sligtly. You will be in my thoughts.

Yesterday wasnt as tough as I thought it was going to be. Laid flowers on Krystians grave, it was a beautiful sunny morning. Then went to the place me and my eldest son had our reunion on the sea front, phoned him and sang happy birthday.

I had some berevment counselling about six months after Krys died. It did help. But what has helped more is joining the charity SANE and getting involved in research centred on why young men commit suicide and if there is any way of spotting the signs before hand. Apparently my help has been 'profound' , that has a mildly soothing effect. Downside being 'why could I not have stopped him' but I could'nt and I have no guilt now.
I am also hoping to start up a support goup aimed at all those left behind. I have also been asked to do some research for the support group.

21st Apr 2012, 08:54

Craft says:

That's great! Good to see you turning a tragic situation around so that others will benefit from your experiences and your wisdom. x Strong certainly and brave too... : - )

21st Apr 2012, 09:00

The hardest bit is yet to come. When the two little boys get older. They know , but are still vey little. the older boys asks and misses him. But the teenage years will be when all 'those ' questions arrive.

21st Apr 2012, 09:10

Viv says:

Well done Lou - cathartic to use the experience postively - hugs

21st Apr 2012, 10:02

Thanks Viv

21st Apr 2012, 15:39

MaggieD says:

Beautiful boy, so so sad, My thoughts with you and your family. You are one exceptionally sensitive, caring and pro-active lady and that is one powerful combination

21st Apr 2012, 19:52

Thank you MaggieD praise indeed. I try to keep as positive as I can

22nd Apr 2012, 10:06

swamprose says:

sorry, Lou. took me a while to see this.
I'm trying to find words, but it just isn't working. Wish we all could sit in your kitchen, talk a lot with kids running around, find some wine and hug each other. So sorry, so very sorry.

30th Apr 2012, 05:02

Thanks SW I'm feeling much better this week, a bit tired but had a few late nights :) I wish we could all sit in the kitchen too talking. It makes me smile :) XX

30th Apr 2012, 21:30